light it up
jacob, reading, driving, scrapbooks, photography, boxsets, sleeping, wetherspoons.
americas next top model, doctor who, inbetweeners, gossip girl, skins, sex and the city.
noah and the whale, darwin deez, example, arctic monkeys, gorillaz, rise against, blink 182, atreyu, pendulum, hadouken, city and colour.
reading fest '11, travelling '12
5/5/11
01:06am
a bit sleepy
jakey
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
ok so its sad and all but bam margera is a little bit annoying and im not being disrespectful but;
"the smartest guy ever, he had so much talent, he had so many things coming from him."
he was a member of jackass and shoved a toy car up his anus. he was a great guy but saying 'the smartest guy ever' is a bit of an overstatement.
r.i.p ryan dunn
"the smartest guy ever, he had so much talent, he had so many things coming from him."
he was a member of jackass and shoved a toy car up his anus. he was a great guy but saying 'the smartest guy ever' is a bit of an overstatement.
r.i.p ryan dunn
15:02
havent blogged in a little while, mainly because i havent had much to blog about but here goes :)
just had 3 days off work and its been absolutely lovely, even though its gone incredibly fast (far too fast for my liking). spent the first 2 lazing around not doing much and today was lovely and different :) stayed round jakes and went to breakfast at time for tea, a pretty little french cafe, went for coffee then met mel for jakes grans birthday at the turks head which was nice and funny too :) aaand then we went to this bustinskin event which jake and mel were taking part in which was really interesting to watch and im so proud of jake for taking part and doing incredibly well despite what he thinks. makes me really wish i could do things like that but i suppose theres still plenty of time in life to do things like that so maybe one day!
im so shocked at how fast this year is going is strange. thinking about me getting my braces off and reading being almost 2 months away, then thinking that after reading its going to be nearly september then my 20th and then christmas! its crazy. although i am so excited for christmas this year because of finishing at littlesea (not that i dont love it there but god do i miss doing nothing), but im also a little bit worried about what im going to do after that. id love to travel and after reading im getting rid of my car and selling it so hopefully ill gather some money then we'll just wait and see. at the moment moneys looking poor, im in my overdraft, im going to get a weak pay this fortnight, and i still have debts to pay aswell as massive bills i can barely afford, hopefully working my ass off over peak season is going to boost it all up a little.
back to work tomorrow. its dans 21st this weekend and i think we're having a little gathering going out thing on friday night for it, like we did for suzies. as much as i dont reeally fancy going out, i suppose it'll be nice to go and jake said he might come but not drink which will still be nice :) i can have a few but i dont plan on getting drunk at all, nor do i think anyone else does because none of them are really heavy drinkers. we'll sort that out nearer the time.
anyway its mr potter and sleepy time. gnight!
just had 3 days off work and its been absolutely lovely, even though its gone incredibly fast (far too fast for my liking). spent the first 2 lazing around not doing much and today was lovely and different :) stayed round jakes and went to breakfast at time for tea, a pretty little french cafe, went for coffee then met mel for jakes grans birthday at the turks head which was nice and funny too :) aaand then we went to this bustinskin event which jake and mel were taking part in which was really interesting to watch and im so proud of jake for taking part and doing incredibly well despite what he thinks. makes me really wish i could do things like that but i suppose theres still plenty of time in life to do things like that so maybe one day!
im so shocked at how fast this year is going is strange. thinking about me getting my braces off and reading being almost 2 months away, then thinking that after reading its going to be nearly september then my 20th and then christmas! its crazy. although i am so excited for christmas this year because of finishing at littlesea (not that i dont love it there but god do i miss doing nothing), but im also a little bit worried about what im going to do after that. id love to travel and after reading im getting rid of my car and selling it so hopefully ill gather some money then we'll just wait and see. at the moment moneys looking poor, im in my overdraft, im going to get a weak pay this fortnight, and i still have debts to pay aswell as massive bills i can barely afford, hopefully working my ass off over peak season is going to boost it all up a little.
back to work tomorrow. its dans 21st this weekend and i think we're having a little gathering going out thing on friday night for it, like we did for suzies. as much as i dont reeally fancy going out, i suppose it'll be nice to go and jake said he might come but not drink which will still be nice :) i can have a few but i dont plan on getting drunk at all, nor do i think anyone else does because none of them are really heavy drinkers. we'll sort that out nearer the time.
anyway its mr potter and sleepy time. gnight!
14:52
Friday, 17 June 2011
nononononoo!
after all this malarky about my teeth and me finally thinking it was almost over MY WISDOM TEETH DECIDE NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO COME THROUGH. it is NOT a good time! it will never be a good time!
i do not want more operations and teeth out now im actually terrified! i thought my braces would come off and taadaaa never have to have teeth removed or any nasty stuff again but nooo wisdom tooth you've foiled me.
after all this malarky about my teeth and me finally thinking it was almost over MY WISDOM TEETH DECIDE NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO COME THROUGH. it is NOT a good time! it will never be a good time!
i do not want more operations and teeth out now im actually terrified! i thought my braces would come off and taadaaa never have to have teeth removed or any nasty stuff again but nooo wisdom tooth you've foiled me.
04:48
Sunday, 12 June 2011
In one of those moods. Thank you jk rowling for giving me another world to go to.
15:07
Saturday, 11 June 2011
then i think to myself!
maybe im just emotionally unable to have an intimate - completely not intimate - close friendship with an exboyfriend.
when i said that in my head i totally sounded like carrie from sex and the city.
maybe im just emotionally unable to have an intimate - completely not intimate - close friendship with an exboyfriend.
when i said that in my head i totally sounded like carrie from sex and the city.
05:04
sometimes i wish people would just get on with their own self indulgent lives and leave mine alone.
theres a line between friendship and intimacy, why do some people find it so difficult to see that line? and even if they do see what gives them the right to think they can bypass it?
i dont mean to be a horrible person and moan about someone i barely know but goddd im annoyed.
theres a line between friendship and intimacy, why do some people find it so difficult to see that line? and even if they do see what gives them the right to think they can bypass it?
i dont mean to be a horrible person and moan about someone i barely know but goddd im annoyed.
04:54
Friday, 10 June 2011
i'm actually really enjoying this whole new healthy lifestyle :) i think i've been eating relatively healthy, i haven't cut out some of the things i've said but i've made what i eat healthier anyway. yesterday me and my mum went up to poole to pick up this crosstrainer i bought and i've been doing 10 minutes a day on it so far. we also went shopping and got loads of healthy stuff and a few weightwatchers meals aswell :) i've been drinking alot of water and generally feel better about myself. i've been getting up pretty early and going to bed at decent times but thats mainly because i havent worked much this week at all. hopefully i can get the next few weeks before the 6 weeks holiday to really start this healthy eating and exercise seeing as i wont be working half as much as i will be in the holidays. im just gonna have to fit it around work then but im sure ill manage by making my own lunchs and 10 minutes a day on the crosstrainer isnt going to be difficult.
i just hope it all pays off :)
i just hope it all pays off :)
02:24
Wednesday, 8 June 2011
soo day 2 of my eat healthy and exercise scheme :) although there has been no exrcising just yet, i have bought a crosstrainer/exercise bike combo which im excited to get!
had gammon steak, jacket and salad last night for dinner. omellete and chicken for breakfast/lunch and some nuts and a snack bar so far today. oh and a coffee which had cream on :( but oh well cant win 'em all.
jakes gone to poole with his mum so im just sitting about trying to finish reading my book, perhaps playing xbox or something in a bit theen going to watch xmen later and have dinner.
that is all!
had gammon steak, jacket and salad last night for dinner. omellete and chicken for breakfast/lunch and some nuts and a snack bar so far today. oh and a coffee which had cream on :( but oh well cant win 'em all.
jakes gone to poole with his mum so im just sitting about trying to finish reading my book, perhaps playing xbox or something in a bit theen going to watch xmen later and have dinner.
that is all!
06:47
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
so jakes on this detox diet which is working wonderfully for him. i've put on a few pounds and really want a flat belly and 8 stone again (which i think is okay for my frame). I've decided against the detox and decided for just a simple diet, using some of the tips from the detox. I'm going to stop eating bread completely, not all of dairy like the detox is for but i wont be really eating butter because i wont be eating bread, and milk is at a low anyway consdering i have 1, max 2 cups of tea a day. im not cutting out caffeine because frankly i dont have much anyway so i dont think thats an issue with me. im going to start eating properly and proper times of the day, even though thats going to be slightly hard with the hours i work but i think i can stiill manage breakfast, lunch possible and maybe dinner most days. along with snacks, which will be fruit and nuts. also im going to stop drinking fizzy drinks, and limit my drinks down to juice or water. no more energy drink or coke etc etc.
so today i've started (literallly decided about half an hour ago after having lunch) and i've had apple juice for breakfast, no actual breakfast there. then for lunch i've had a jacket potato with cheese, salad and a chicken breast. also an apple, apple juice and water. im gonna pop to the shop before work and get some nuts to eat during work and im not sure what im doing about dinner because i know its bad to eat then sleep but if i can i'll have an omelette with chicken tonight depending when i get in. im really determined to lose weight and i dont think the detox is the right thing for me but i think that if i monitor what i eat and think about it and cut down little things (mainly bread, and obviously pot noodles, pizzas, coke, junk food basically) i'll be okay and hopefully will begin to lose weight and feel better about myself. i applaud jake so much for being able to do this detox, and he's doing so well in it. i looked up detox diets and found 'the master cleanse' which at the time seemed like a great idea, its where you just drink this home made lemon juice (with maple syrup and this pepper) constantly for 10 days with no solid food and take laxatives. apparently beyonce did it, but later on said she wouldnt reccomend it. i read up on it and apparently although it does obviously promote weight loss, its very unhealthy for the stomach lining and the intestines and eating normal food after being on the diet is a nightmare. perhaps not the best idea there.
onto different matters completely now. today i met up with james to do his download shopping, which consisted of going to b&q, wilkinsons, morrisons and tescos. jakes really annoyed about this, because i didnt let him know i was meeting james. im saying this here, and i know jake you're the only one whos going to read this, but i really want to explain myself because i havent really done much wrong. i didnt tell jake because we wernt texting or talking or anything at the time, i text him in the morning as usual when i woke up but didnt get a reply and only heard from him when his friend saw me and james in wilkinsons. i hadnt checked my phone in ages either, i just plainly forgot. my phone has a button on the side which turns the volume up and down and i had it on vibrate whilst i slept that night, as i do every night, but the button had turned it down to complete silent without me knowing, so i didnt hear my phone calls or texts or anything and when i did remember like 'oh shit my phone' i had about 3 missed calls and 10 texts and then my phone went out of signal because i was going into morrisons so i couldnt reply straight away. but after the shopping i just dropped him off at moleys where tom was, picked up my mum and came home and had lunch.
i also shamefully looked at jakes phone messages, i was just curious at what had been said because obviously everyone gets curious and just wants to know and jakes taken that badly aswell and it was a stupid thing to do but you know the saying curiousity killed the cat...
i cant explain myself anymore and i really feel like i havent done that much wrong really, jake knows how much i love him, i thought that much was obvious by now but apparently not. i dont know what i can do. i just keep fucking up without realising it. sometimes i think maybe i should just stay indoors and keep myself out of trouble.
so today i've started (literallly decided about half an hour ago after having lunch) and i've had apple juice for breakfast, no actual breakfast there. then for lunch i've had a jacket potato with cheese, salad and a chicken breast. also an apple, apple juice and water. im gonna pop to the shop before work and get some nuts to eat during work and im not sure what im doing about dinner because i know its bad to eat then sleep but if i can i'll have an omelette with chicken tonight depending when i get in. im really determined to lose weight and i dont think the detox is the right thing for me but i think that if i monitor what i eat and think about it and cut down little things (mainly bread, and obviously pot noodles, pizzas, coke, junk food basically) i'll be okay and hopefully will begin to lose weight and feel better about myself. i applaud jake so much for being able to do this detox, and he's doing so well in it. i looked up detox diets and found 'the master cleanse' which at the time seemed like a great idea, its where you just drink this home made lemon juice (with maple syrup and this pepper) constantly for 10 days with no solid food and take laxatives. apparently beyonce did it, but later on said she wouldnt reccomend it. i read up on it and apparently although it does obviously promote weight loss, its very unhealthy for the stomach lining and the intestines and eating normal food after being on the diet is a nightmare. perhaps not the best idea there.
onto different matters completely now. today i met up with james to do his download shopping, which consisted of going to b&q, wilkinsons, morrisons and tescos. jakes really annoyed about this, because i didnt let him know i was meeting james. im saying this here, and i know jake you're the only one whos going to read this, but i really want to explain myself because i havent really done much wrong. i didnt tell jake because we wernt texting or talking or anything at the time, i text him in the morning as usual when i woke up but didnt get a reply and only heard from him when his friend saw me and james in wilkinsons. i hadnt checked my phone in ages either, i just plainly forgot. my phone has a button on the side which turns the volume up and down and i had it on vibrate whilst i slept that night, as i do every night, but the button had turned it down to complete silent without me knowing, so i didnt hear my phone calls or texts or anything and when i did remember like 'oh shit my phone' i had about 3 missed calls and 10 texts and then my phone went out of signal because i was going into morrisons so i couldnt reply straight away. but after the shopping i just dropped him off at moleys where tom was, picked up my mum and came home and had lunch.
i also shamefully looked at jakes phone messages, i was just curious at what had been said because obviously everyone gets curious and just wants to know and jakes taken that badly aswell and it was a stupid thing to do but you know the saying curiousity killed the cat...
i cant explain myself anymore and i really feel like i havent done that much wrong really, jake knows how much i love him, i thought that much was obvious by now but apparently not. i dont know what i can do. i just keep fucking up without realising it. sometimes i think maybe i should just stay indoors and keep myself out of trouble.
06:39
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
16:23
im having one of those days where everything feels shit. i get this most days off because i know its gonna be over so quickly then i go back to work and wait for my next day off where the same thing happens.
i love my job but im so down about it at the moment, i guess im just coming to terms with the real world. the thought of working for the rest of my life is scary, i know everyone else has to do it but i never really expected it. its such an immature thing to say but i dont want to do it. im tired all of the time, ive realised i've put on weight due to 'shift work', and i dont have time to do anything for myself. i dont have time to do my favourite things, as silly as it seems but to read. i dont have time to see jake and the thought of leaving his after a day off is horrible because i know i wont see him properly for most likely another week.
i complain so much in my blog now its getting a little depressing im sorry! i'll get over all this soon, i do have things to look forward to :) its exactly 50 days untill i get my braces off now. i cant wait for that. then after that its only a month to reading, which im surprisingly not that excited for yet. i had the horrible thought of where am i going to pee? when i drink alcohol it goes straight through me and im running to the loo every 5 minutes. i am not looking forward to that at all and i have no practical answer for it.
i've also found my little piggy bank out and decided to put all my change in there from now on. perhaps by the end of the year ill have £20 or so in there haha. but its very cute nevertheless.
apart from me complaining about everything ive had another lovely day with jake, apart from falling asleep for a few hours during dr who, pouring gone off milk onto my lovely pasta and not being able to see hangover 2. i finally watched the first xmen film and i am quite impressed. i have to watch the next 2 before next wednesday so we can go and see the new one without me complaining about it.
anyway thats all from me tataa x
i love my job but im so down about it at the moment, i guess im just coming to terms with the real world. the thought of working for the rest of my life is scary, i know everyone else has to do it but i never really expected it. its such an immature thing to say but i dont want to do it. im tired all of the time, ive realised i've put on weight due to 'shift work', and i dont have time to do anything for myself. i dont have time to do my favourite things, as silly as it seems but to read. i dont have time to see jake and the thought of leaving his after a day off is horrible because i know i wont see him properly for most likely another week.
i complain so much in my blog now its getting a little depressing im sorry! i'll get over all this soon, i do have things to look forward to :) its exactly 50 days untill i get my braces off now. i cant wait for that. then after that its only a month to reading, which im surprisingly not that excited for yet. i had the horrible thought of where am i going to pee? when i drink alcohol it goes straight through me and im running to the loo every 5 minutes. i am not looking forward to that at all and i have no practical answer for it.
i've also found my little piggy bank out and decided to put all my change in there from now on. perhaps by the end of the year ill have £20 or so in there haha. but its very cute nevertheless.
apart from me complaining about everything ive had another lovely day with jake, apart from falling asleep for a few hours during dr who, pouring gone off milk onto my lovely pasta and not being able to see hangover 2. i finally watched the first xmen film and i am quite impressed. i have to watch the next 2 before next wednesday so we can go and see the new one without me complaining about it.
anyway thats all from me tataa x
15:58