Monday, 8 August 2011

im having one of those nights, maybe days, where im so fed up. i wish i knew where i was going and what i was doing. everyone has plans and aspirations and i have absolutely nothing. im so boring and dull and i have nothing going for me. this year is going so fast im scared. im happy with where i am right now but im so scared that everythings gonna change and im going to have nothing soon. im so scared of getting older and making decisions and dealing with changes. im so centered on whats happening right now i never think ahead, i never think of next week or next month or next year and it scares me so much that i really actually have to do that now. i wish i was at school still. they had everything planned out for you.

17:02



Thursday, 4 August 2011

i havent blogged in so long but seriously its just been


a few nights out, a few days in, alot of days and nights at work.
watch this spot ill post something more interesting soon!

17:51



Friday, 15 July 2011

i loved it.

but then it was such a disappointment at the same time :( at first it seemed like it was gonna be direct with the book but then so much changed it was silly. the whole battle was completely different and you didnt even see hagrid til the very end. and one of the best fights of the whole series was dimmed down so much in the movie (molly v bellatrix) it was horrible :( and they added so much crap it just to make it good for the cinema like voldemorts strangling robes and stupid little comments the whole way through which make it seem so not serious when its meant to be tense and scary and amazing.

but other than that i really liked it. i didnt enjoy the 13 year olds sat behind us in wigs though, they were annoying.

05:08



Thursday, 14 July 2011

IN UNDER 2 HOURS!!!

14:43



Monday, 11 July 2011

i've just watched deathly hallows part 1 with my mum and have been taken back in time and getting extremely nostalgic for my childhood. i was trying to remember when i first got into harry potter, and it was in cannock. we had two women live next door to us, i only remember one of their names, louise, and me and my mum always used to go round and i remember one of them lending me the goblet of fire and saying they'd think i'd really enjoy it. its so strange thinking about it because i was no older than luke is now, and i cant imagine being that young and reading harry potter. then i started thinking about everything else in cannock and how so unreal it all seems now. i remember the school i went to, pye green valley, and my teacher miss orr and actually have people argue over who was friends with me on my first few days there. and there was a tuck trolley and a silly computer game that you played with the person next to you in the register. i remember i played against danny kay, he always won the game and i was the first person to beat him on it. and i think i had a little crush on him, i remember us chasing each other on the way home after school once. i remember my best friend, nikki smith, gave me a best friend necklack, it was in the shape of a heart, blue and sparkly and had dolphins on it... i think i've still got my half in my jewelerry box and i remember playing the top 40 chart in the garden on my little portable radio every sunday. and our next door neighbours dogs molly hooch and deefa. aand i remember always going to the library with my mum, we'd book half an hour slots on the computer and go on the beano website and play games and i was such a bookworm even then, i brought stacks of books home all the time, like matilda! haha. i remember a woman giving me 50p to get an easter egg once too, and i could actually buy one. then we moved back to weymouth to stonehill court flats, in wyke by the castle and overlooking the sea. i remember going back to my primary school to visit because id be joining again in year 5, and i remember seeing all my old friends and being so happy. there was a new girl who joined too called jodie, and i cant remember who it was but someone came up and gave me a smell gel pen and said it was from jodie, i had no idea who she was but we became best friends when i joined again. i remember borrowing pecan from jade, a bear beanie baby, and i used to go round the back of the flats and make dens and i had such a vivid imagination because i could spend so much time with that bear and grew so attached to it. i was so upset when i had to give it back to jade, so i went and bought my own pecan, but he wasnt the same because he's faced was lopsided and different to jades pecan and his fur was all soft whereas jades pecan was quite rough. and i remember getting all the harry potter books for christmas too. and i used to get robot wars magazine and fbx (for boys only) magazines and i remember drawing matilda the robot. and i remember that massive stick insect that we found over the kitchen door and being absolutely terrified and we had no idea what it was because it was far too thick to be a stick insect but it was really long too, my parents both said they thought it was from overseas and come in on a boat or something. i remember going to weymouth library too and being so excited when i turned 11 because i could finally get books from the red section and i read sabrina the teenage witch books loads then. i remember steve and julie coming over to the flat and lucy was so young and luke was still a baby. thats when we first started talking to them again.
but thinking back it all seems so so unreal, it feels like its a dream, i remember it all clearly but i remember it as if it wasnt me. i'd do absolutely anything to relive all that, or even to just see it again just so i can remember little things im sure im forgetting. like what my friends names were or what that silly game was or the books i read and just little things. its crazy how one thing i remembered has led to so much, and how now it seems like a completely different life, and how difficult its gonna be for me to snap out of this day dream now.

17:27



Sunday, 10 July 2011

i read a child called it last night and wow was that depressing. i dont honestly believe its all true because some of it is just a bit ridiculous but even so, its still an awful book and although he went through absolute hell, so do millions of other kids so why should he now be leeching in the money because of it. but fair enough he's helping other people and all that. blaah, i just disagree with it and generally dont like it.

but now im reading the lovely bones which seems to be another depressing book. i've gone from harry potter to child abuse and murder, its a bit of a shock to the system really.

i have three days off now :) tomorrow im going to get an emergency appointment at the ortho about the gap thats not closed up. i really hope she can close it by next week because i am so so so excited about getting my braces off, but if i have a gap for the rest of my life i know im going to regret not waiting that extra week or so to get it closed up. but hopefully giving it this next 2 weeks now will help. i just want them off already!

i also really wanna get another ear piercing because me and jake have been looking at loads and he's getting two done in his ear tomorrow or sometime this week and i reeally want another one, but as stupid as it sounds piercings really scare me, i'd much rather go through the dragged out pain of a tattoo for some reason. maybe its because piercings are actually going completely through and is one sharp horrible pains whereas tattoo is one long dull miserable bearable pain. i dunno, maybe i should just man up and get on with it. bit like stealth.

but other than that i dont have much else left to say. im excited for the next two weeks 'cos quite a lot is happening and i think it'll go really fast :) i cant wait to watch harry potter and i cant wait to have a nice big straight shiney smile (a trip to boots for whitening strips may be needed to complete the process. dont judge me jake.)

15:46





14:07